Valentines is looming - as is my longing to make love to this guy. He is happy to wait until Im ready though. He bought me a lovely necklace and earrings set. Mum wanted to know what I had 'done' to earn something so expensive....bitch! She is still yet to meet him, she wont. Says its not the right time. I hate her.
Went to a 21st party of a work colleague of his - in Manchester. Asked mum if I could stay over at his - due to the fact that it would be the wee hours of the morning when we got back, she said NO! Party was great, a Drag Queen topped the bill...so funny. All loved up on the coach home. Coach refused to drop us back in the village centre - we had to get off at the pre-set pick ups......argh! its 1.30am and its bloody cold. So we set off walking the 2 miles home. Stopped at every bus stop along the way for a kiss and cuddle. By the time we got to his sisters - ostensibly for a coffee to warm up.
Well that's what we intended anyhow!! But we got down and dirty on the floor...and oh my I sooo wanted him there and then.So I made up my mind, tonight was the night - one week after Valentines, I was no longer going to be a Virgin. He was so surprised when I said what I wanted, I did some quick calculation's in my head, by my reckoning I was due a visit from Aunt Flo - so all was well in that department. Not that I had not given contraception a thought - I had, I was waiting for Aunt Flo to visit so I could take my first pill. These were also the days before 'safe sex' due to Aids/HIV hit the headlines.
So, we did it, in full and for real. No messing around - I was no longer a Virgin. I was so happy, I did not want to go home - sod it....would live with consequences tomorrow - tonight was ours. Did it hurt? No, did I bleed? No. Was surprised at the mess though, was never told that. We then went to sleep upstairs in his room - making love once more before morning.
Sunday 11 January 2009
Wednesday 31 December 2008
Out with the old....in with the new
Christmas 1982 was a very happy one for me.
Was finally in a 'relationship' and loving it. He was a gentleman of the higest degree. No fumbling to get my bra straps undone or to get into my knickers.
He bought me some perfume for Christmas - Tweed. to this day I still love it. Spent the greater part of Boxing Day together, kissing and cuddling...hmmmm.
He walked me down to my Nan's - who invited him in to join us, but my mum vetoed this. FFS - why not? Its not her house. Bitch.
New Years Eve - spent together at the local club, saw in the New Year at his sisters house, the church bells rining out. Lovely. More time together on New Years Day....cuddled in his room. Very hot! But still the gentleman, though I did find out how nice it was to be kissed ALL over.....mmmmmmm.
Think I'm in love!
Was finally in a 'relationship' and loving it. He was a gentleman of the higest degree. No fumbling to get my bra straps undone or to get into my knickers.
He bought me some perfume for Christmas - Tweed. to this day I still love it. Spent the greater part of Boxing Day together, kissing and cuddling...hmmmm.
He walked me down to my Nan's - who invited him in to join us, but my mum vetoed this. FFS - why not? Its not her house. Bitch.
New Years Eve - spent together at the local club, saw in the New Year at his sisters house, the church bells rining out. Lovely. More time together on New Years Day....cuddled in his room. Very hot! But still the gentleman, though I did find out how nice it was to be kissed ALL over.....mmmmmmm.
Think I'm in love!
Wednesday 17 December 2008
So here it is...Merry Christmas..
November 1982 is nearly over and Im still single. With little money - giving mum a fair portion of my meagre wages does not help. Have been out just the once since the episode with T in September.
Working on the snack van, I was meeting loads of people, but nothing of dating quality!!
December now and just over a week to Christmas, mates from school have asked me to join them at the 'club' for the Christmas disco. Looking forward to going out and i take care with my outfit, mini skirt (woo!) and lacy blouse - standard Spandau Ballet style of the 1980's!!
Disco was buzzing - loads there, but still felt left out - everyone seemed to be either paired up or eyeing up. Nursing a drink, I glanced around the room. Then I saw him, he was looking my way, I had spoken to him before..he smiled and raised his glass in my direction!! But he made no move towards me..just furtive looks. Going to get another drink from the bar and having to pass him...he smiled again. Full of bravado (and drink) I started to chat to him. Cheekily I asked him what parties he was going to take me to over Christmas...he nearly dropped his drink in suprise. But it paid off though, we chatted for the rest of the night and he walked me home. That was after a stop off at a shop doorway for a kiss and cuddle!! Floated to bed that night...feeling very happy.
Working on the snack van, I was meeting loads of people, but nothing of dating quality!!
December now and just over a week to Christmas, mates from school have asked me to join them at the 'club' for the Christmas disco. Looking forward to going out and i take care with my outfit, mini skirt (woo!) and lacy blouse - standard Spandau Ballet style of the 1980's!!
Disco was buzzing - loads there, but still felt left out - everyone seemed to be either paired up or eyeing up. Nursing a drink, I glanced around the room. Then I saw him, he was looking my way, I had spoken to him before..he smiled and raised his glass in my direction!! But he made no move towards me..just furtive looks. Going to get another drink from the bar and having to pass him...he smiled again. Full of bravado (and drink) I started to chat to him. Cheekily I asked him what parties he was going to take me to over Christmas...he nearly dropped his drink in suprise. But it paid off though, we chatted for the rest of the night and he walked me home. That was after a stop off at a shop doorway for a kiss and cuddle!! Floated to bed that night...feeling very happy.
Wednesday 10 December 2008
Fumblings and whoops!
The next few months saw some progress - in a way.
Got chatted up in a cafe i was working in - his name was Tony and he asked me out. I was amazed. First date was in my home town, local pub and all my step-dad was there as well. Somehow he missed the last bus and my mum said he could stay over at ours on the couch. I stayed down with him for as long as I could get away with - some very heavy petting went on. I have never been kissed like THAT before - fair took my breath away. Lots of bumping and grinding went on - I slunk off to bed feeling very horny!
We met up a few times in the weeks that followed, but never getting the space to be alone. Then he was invited to a party near his home, I was to stay over on the sofa at his parents house. Party was good, I can remember in the ladies, crowing to some girls (who I did not know) that yes, I was the one who was going out with Tut…..one girl told me to be careful…jealous cow!!!
Returning to his house, more than a little drunk and having to be supported in case I fell. In no time at all we lay on the rug in his house, with clothes awry, and hands wandering everywhere – I was floating away with desire. I really wanted to give in, I seem to remember that neither of us had many clothes on by this time, and then I caught a glimpse of what it was he wanted to give me. It was full, erect and throbbing! To my eyes it was huge, but a delight to look at. I tentatively caressed his penis, well, that one felt better than the last one I held! He lay astride me, me with my pants still on, teasing me, pressing against my clothed fanny, more and more pressure. I was groaning with desire – he put his hand over my mouth to shush me in case his parents heard.
Then all of a sudden I came to me sense, here I was, laying on a rug, very drunk and about to lose my virginity to this guy. This was not right, this is not how I planned it to be. Feeling ever so slightly sick, I grabbed some clothes and made for the bathroom. Returning back to the room he was sat up, a little more decently dressed and ANNOYED, called me a Prick Teaser (for leading him on, what? I was drunk and he was the one doing the leading....) more than a little upset i sobbed myself to sleep.
This did not deter him though, he did ring up for another date and we met up at a house hid friend was doing up in his spare time. The friend mysteriously disappeared after a while leaving us alone! It was cold in the house, so we HAD to use body heat to warm...him desperately trying to get into my knickers and me trying to keep them on!
But OH! What was that, mmmmmm, a very nice bulge forming there then. So despite my earlier promise to myself to behave, he was virtually on top of me, boxers off and I was massaging a certain member. Still trying my best to retain my dignity (in the throws of passion and lust....I somehow managed to keep my underwear on, but he was doing his best by attempting to penetrate me through my underwear. then all of a sudden he thrust he his head back, moved quickly and OH HELL!! I think that's done it, he 'came' all over my stomach....I have never been so grossed out in my life.
After a quick clean up, and an almost silent walk back to the bus stop and we parted. We did kiss, but it seemed a different kiss, he was all apologetic (as he should have been) and as we parted he said he would ring me. Guess what? He didn't.
Got chatted up in a cafe i was working in - his name was Tony and he asked me out. I was amazed. First date was in my home town, local pub and all my step-dad was there as well. Somehow he missed the last bus and my mum said he could stay over at ours on the couch. I stayed down with him for as long as I could get away with - some very heavy petting went on. I have never been kissed like THAT before - fair took my breath away. Lots of bumping and grinding went on - I slunk off to bed feeling very horny!
We met up a few times in the weeks that followed, but never getting the space to be alone. Then he was invited to a party near his home, I was to stay over on the sofa at his parents house. Party was good, I can remember in the ladies, crowing to some girls (who I did not know) that yes, I was the one who was going out with Tut…..one girl told me to be careful…jealous cow!!!
Returning to his house, more than a little drunk and having to be supported in case I fell. In no time at all we lay on the rug in his house, with clothes awry, and hands wandering everywhere – I was floating away with desire. I really wanted to give in, I seem to remember that neither of us had many clothes on by this time, and then I caught a glimpse of what it was he wanted to give me. It was full, erect and throbbing! To my eyes it was huge, but a delight to look at. I tentatively caressed his penis, well, that one felt better than the last one I held! He lay astride me, me with my pants still on, teasing me, pressing against my clothed fanny, more and more pressure. I was groaning with desire – he put his hand over my mouth to shush me in case his parents heard.
Then all of a sudden I came to me sense, here I was, laying on a rug, very drunk and about to lose my virginity to this guy. This was not right, this is not how I planned it to be. Feeling ever so slightly sick, I grabbed some clothes and made for the bathroom. Returning back to the room he was sat up, a little more decently dressed and ANNOYED, called me a Prick Teaser (for leading him on, what? I was drunk and he was the one doing the leading....) more than a little upset i sobbed myself to sleep.
This did not deter him though, he did ring up for another date and we met up at a house hid friend was doing up in his spare time. The friend mysteriously disappeared after a while leaving us alone! It was cold in the house, so we HAD to use body heat to warm...him desperately trying to get into my knickers and me trying to keep them on!
But OH! What was that, mmmmmm, a very nice bulge forming there then. So despite my earlier promise to myself to behave, he was virtually on top of me, boxers off and I was massaging a certain member. Still trying my best to retain my dignity (in the throws of passion and lust....I somehow managed to keep my underwear on, but he was doing his best by attempting to penetrate me through my underwear. then all of a sudden he thrust he his head back, moved quickly and OH HELL!! I think that's done it, he 'came' all over my stomach....I have never been so grossed out in my life.
After a quick clean up, and an almost silent walk back to the bus stop and we parted. We did kiss, but it seemed a different kiss, he was all apologetic (as he should have been) and as we parted he said he would ring me. Guess what? He didn't.
16 legal and oh so ready...
I turned 16 and was now working. Okay, so it was only a stupid govt. scheme, but I was out of the house and mixing with males!
I was still essentially shy, but underneath I was simmering with unspent desires. I fluttered my lashes at anything that stood still long enough! At the factory, most of the males seemed out of my league – drinkers and smokers and loud. Then I was smitten with the quietest of the bunch, his name was Phillip. Soft looking lips, with the hint of a tash and sparkly eyes that hinted of desire. But despite my efforts (and the efforts of the girls I did not even get a store room fumble with him.)
By now I was doing a college day out scheme, mixing with boys more my own age. One such time as a group we went on an outward bound weekend, during which again I was smitten, but both of us shy alls we did was simper and hold hands. The next outward-bound course I went on was the weekend of my 17th birthday. It was on this one that I ‘hooked up’ (sort of) with Dave…. oh boy, was he a bad one! Noisy, mischief and ringleader. How the hell? I had my first FULL ON SNOGFEST on the top of a mountain in Derbyshire at midnight – surrounded by 20 others singing Happy Birthday to me. That night I could not sleep …
After the weekend away we continued to see each other, the next weekend meeting up on our push bikes at a local nature reserve (hey, both on a low wage and no money). We stopped in a bird hide for a cuddle (and fumble). God he was a daring one, trying his best to undo my bra, failing I might add. His hands were everywhere, but I was not stopping him, it was too good. There sexual tension between us, I so wanted to lay down and submit, but good girls did not do that and so I held back. THEN he murmured in my ear – “hold this….” So I held out my hand……WTF!!
He had put his penis in my hand….urgh and it was all clammy, not at all what I had expected. I took fright, and jumped away from him,
No, no no, not that, not here I said in desperation. Righting my clothes I gathered my composure and made to leave the hide, suggesting he join me when he was likewise. We rode home in silence, the air still crackling with desire. He said he would ring me……he never did. If I had given him what he wanted, would he have rung me?
I was still essentially shy, but underneath I was simmering with unspent desires. I fluttered my lashes at anything that stood still long enough! At the factory, most of the males seemed out of my league – drinkers and smokers and loud. Then I was smitten with the quietest of the bunch, his name was Phillip. Soft looking lips, with the hint of a tash and sparkly eyes that hinted of desire. But despite my efforts (and the efforts of the girls I did not even get a store room fumble with him.)
By now I was doing a college day out scheme, mixing with boys more my own age. One such time as a group we went on an outward bound weekend, during which again I was smitten, but both of us shy alls we did was simper and hold hands. The next outward-bound course I went on was the weekend of my 17th birthday. It was on this one that I ‘hooked up’ (sort of) with Dave…. oh boy, was he a bad one! Noisy, mischief and ringleader. How the hell? I had my first FULL ON SNOGFEST on the top of a mountain in Derbyshire at midnight – surrounded by 20 others singing Happy Birthday to me. That night I could not sleep …
After the weekend away we continued to see each other, the next weekend meeting up on our push bikes at a local nature reserve (hey, both on a low wage and no money). We stopped in a bird hide for a cuddle (and fumble). God he was a daring one, trying his best to undo my bra, failing I might add. His hands were everywhere, but I was not stopping him, it was too good. There sexual tension between us, I so wanted to lay down and submit, but good girls did not do that and so I held back. THEN he murmured in my ear – “hold this….” So I held out my hand……WTF!!
He had put his penis in my hand….urgh and it was all clammy, not at all what I had expected. I took fright, and jumped away from him,
No, no no, not that, not here I said in desperation. Righting my clothes I gathered my composure and made to leave the hide, suggesting he join me when he was likewise. We rode home in silence, the air still crackling with desire. He said he would ring me……he never did. If I had given him what he wanted, would he have rung me?
Tuesday 9 December 2008
Teenage angst.
My teen years were full of angst really. I was desperate to have a boyfriend, but none reciprocated my advances... . I was the geek, the loner, no-one wanted to be associated with me. I used to stand back and listen to/watch the popular girls......you know the ones?
Half filled with envy and half with derision at what I and my few girl friends labelled as being 'slutty' The ones who would allow the boys to cop a feel of their breasts, would flaunt their legs by hitching up their skirts, and general coquettish behaviour around boys.
Leaving school party and I tried so hard to look nice and to attract a boy to me. Well, I did - but why the geek again.....no way was I going to kiss him
The summer of 1981 was a hot and sultry one, which did no good for my simmering urges.
I took a summer job - strawberry picking for gawd sake. There was a guy, nice soft looking lips and twinkling eyes. Made it known I fancied him, my friend hooked up with his brother and we would go and meet them after hours - me playing gooseberry, as it was evident he was not interested. I used to cry myself to sleep at night, masturbating for good effect. Once I think I got overheard by my step-dad as he banged on the door as he was going past. Could not look him in the eye the next morning.
I Used to take the train up some weekends to go and see my dad in the city, the ticket inspector was nice (and young and mmmmm) He tried to chat me up once, I was flattered, but so nervous I stumbled my words out, but he always had a smile for me when I passed through. When it became apparent that the guy at the farm was not going to notice me, I took to having my lunch break at the train station...just to see Si....he loved it when I visited. I seem to remember he had nice soft hands, made us a cuppa once or twice. Once as I was leaving he asked me for a kiss (asked me for gawd sake...) and cos I was so nervous I refused. Made to leave to go back to the farm, only then disaster - could not get my bike lock undone, panicking i went to find Si and ask for his help.....he managed to undo it....then the brazen hussy that I was, I leaned forward and took that kiss! Oh my, even now i can remember, soft lips, slightly sweet and a small tickly tash.....he was gobsmacked and kissed me back. Okay so it was no snogfest, but it was still yummy, with a twinkle in our eyes we parted. To this day I stll see him from time to time, we have exchanged small talk once or twice.
Half filled with envy and half with derision at what I and my few girl friends labelled as being 'slutty' The ones who would allow the boys to cop a feel of their breasts, would flaunt their legs by hitching up their skirts, and general coquettish behaviour around boys.
Leaving school party and I tried so hard to look nice and to attract a boy to me. Well, I did - but why the geek again.....no way was I going to kiss him
The summer of 1981 was a hot and sultry one, which did no good for my simmering urges.
I took a summer job - strawberry picking for gawd sake. There was a guy, nice soft looking lips and twinkling eyes. Made it known I fancied him, my friend hooked up with his brother and we would go and meet them after hours - me playing gooseberry, as it was evident he was not interested. I used to cry myself to sleep at night, masturbating for good effect. Once I think I got overheard by my step-dad as he banged on the door as he was going past. Could not look him in the eye the next morning.
I Used to take the train up some weekends to go and see my dad in the city, the ticket inspector was nice (and young and mmmmm) He tried to chat me up once, I was flattered, but so nervous I stumbled my words out, but he always had a smile for me when I passed through. When it became apparent that the guy at the farm was not going to notice me, I took to having my lunch break at the train station...just to see Si....he loved it when I visited. I seem to remember he had nice soft hands, made us a cuppa once or twice. Once as I was leaving he asked me for a kiss (asked me for gawd sake...) and cos I was so nervous I refused. Made to leave to go back to the farm, only then disaster - could not get my bike lock undone, panicking i went to find Si and ask for his help.....he managed to undo it....then the brazen hussy that I was, I leaned forward and took that kiss! Oh my, even now i can remember, soft lips, slightly sweet and a small tickly tash.....he was gobsmacked and kissed me back. Okay so it was no snogfest, but it was still yummy, with a twinkle in our eyes we parted. To this day I stll see him from time to time, we have exchanged small talk once or twice.
Girl Power
Now in High School and no boyfriend, having a variety of girl friends. One was Dawn, not sure why we were friends, she was a bit of a strange one really. Not well liked, but then I suppose i was not exactly miss popular either.
She used to walk up to school and we would meet on the corner an carry onto school. Hanging out at weekends, both at her house and in the local walks, a long lane near a race course, would not DARE to play there as a child now, but it was the 70's and we did things like that - life did not hold the same dangers to us as it does now.
Memories now, again hazy and not even sure if Im remembering correct. Did it really happen? How much happened? Have I blocked the memory or is it a false one? I still not sure - I just know it was sure as hell an exciting time.
Dawn was older, an a bit of a leader. She would TELL me what to do and I DID it. She held some kind of hold on me......
Lying on the grass verge with her lying at the side of me, her hand on my breasts and rubbing it quite hard really, round and round she went, and making noises. Then she rolled over on top of me, mouth on mine and kissed me quite forcibly, I can remembering feeling a bit shocked, her tongue was trying to gain entry in my mouth - but oh, it felt so wrong and yet at the same time so good. Then the days that followed, she lay on top of me and we both moved up and down (as sex should be she said) bumping and grinding, I had an delightful ache in my pelvic area and not quite knowing why!
Also there was a brief time when we had my mums friends staying at our house (she had spilt from her husband, was in the middle of an affair) she had two girls around our age. The girls did not get on and had to be kept apart at night, so that meant that we (sister and I) had one each in our room. I was out with the older one. Again there was girl on girl advances - what is it with that? Did I appear that desperate for sexual contact I was giving out lesbian vibes?? Not that I am against lesbians.....could say I am sort of bi-curious! It was nearly every night she would snuggle up to me, kissing me, and fondling my breasts. Also rubbing her hand against my fanny (covered up with knicks I hasten to add). Damm it felt good, I got that ache in my loins for days after and I sooooo wanted to know what was happening to me
She used to walk up to school and we would meet on the corner an carry onto school. Hanging out at weekends, both at her house and in the local walks, a long lane near a race course, would not DARE to play there as a child now, but it was the 70's and we did things like that - life did not hold the same dangers to us as it does now.
Memories now, again hazy and not even sure if Im remembering correct. Did it really happen? How much happened? Have I blocked the memory or is it a false one? I still not sure - I just know it was sure as hell an exciting time.
Dawn was older, an a bit of a leader. She would TELL me what to do and I DID it. She held some kind of hold on me......
Lying on the grass verge with her lying at the side of me, her hand on my breasts and rubbing it quite hard really, round and round she went, and making noises. Then she rolled over on top of me, mouth on mine and kissed me quite forcibly, I can remembering feeling a bit shocked, her tongue was trying to gain entry in my mouth - but oh, it felt so wrong and yet at the same time so good. Then the days that followed, she lay on top of me and we both moved up and down (as sex should be she said) bumping and grinding, I had an delightful ache in my pelvic area and not quite knowing why!
Also there was a brief time when we had my mums friends staying at our house (she had spilt from her husband, was in the middle of an affair) she had two girls around our age. The girls did not get on and had to be kept apart at night, so that meant that we (sister and I) had one each in our room. I was out with the older one. Again there was girl on girl advances - what is it with that? Did I appear that desperate for sexual contact I was giving out lesbian vibes?? Not that I am against lesbians.....could say I am sort of bi-curious! It was nearly every night she would snuggle up to me, kissing me, and fondling my breasts. Also rubbing her hand against my fanny (covered up with knicks I hasten to add). Damm it felt good, I got that ache in my loins for days after and I sooooo wanted to know what was happening to me
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